I was tired. I was hungry. I was sore.
I couldn’t afford anything after buying all the food I needed. I couldn’t focus on my own business.
I was training for a show bigger and heavier than anything I ever though I would do.
Over and over again I said, to myself and to others, after this I would walk away for a while and relax. Be able to laugh, be able to miss a meal, date a girl, spend time with my friends…you know live a normal life.
But I can’t. I didn’t win, and I can’t say that If I did win I would be able to walk away either. I NEED to outwork everyone – I need to outwork the most talented and the hardest working. Everything in me says “Nic, let it go. It’s nothing. You have a business…you have multiple business. You have people who want to spend time with you. You spend too much on food and let your meal plan consume your schedule. Let it go. Build your business, have fun.”
But I can’t. I need to know I left it all out there. I already have spent too much looking back and wishing I wouldn’t have quit something to live a “normal” life.
I will never do a show lighter than the last (unless there is prize money involved of course). This is more of a self-evolution/progression than an ego building, trophy chase.
I am going to outwork you.
I am Relentless.
Let’s hope it doesn’t kill me.